JACKY TOKERAS, BRITEL CENTER FOUNDER AND CEO
HER STORY
Jacky Tokeras is a survivor of domestic violence and two suicide attempts. Despite all the problems that she had to face in life, with adequate counseling she was able to thrive and is becoming a strong community leader, and a mentor and role model for many women in a similar situations.
From an early age she remembered her parents fighting all the time and this unhealthy environment created a negative impact on her mind to the point of trying to take her own life at the age of 7 and 15 years old, respectively.
She was born in Mexico City and is a descendant of Jewish-Mexican parents. She immigrated to Israel at age of 3 and her situation in that country only got worse. When she was 14, and by her mother’s request, Jacky immigrated to the United States finding herself desolated and without the guidance of her family.
When she was 15, she returned to Mexico and was enrolled in a school of nuns, this added an even deeper feeling of abandonment to her life. At the school, the rules were rigid; it was difficult to reconcile the beliefs that she had as a Jewish teenager and now into the catholic religion. Feeling alone and with the idea that she wasn’t loved by her parents, for a second time she attempted to take her own life. However, either because luck or God’s intervention she survived and continue living, but not a too desirable life for a young girl.
When she was 16, she returned to the United States, and now one more time she had to face innumerable and unimaginable problems which made her gain weight reaching an exorbitant 320 pounds. This left her feeling unworthy of herself. She wouldn’t see herself in the mirror without thinking “ugly” and making her very unhappy most of the time.
During these years she experienced a life of limitations and domestic violence on the part of relatives, including sexual abuse by one of her cousins. When she was 17 years old she got pregnant and trying to escape from this terrible situation she became homeless. In this dark period of her life she lived constantly in fear because she also lacked legal documents to stay in this country and her English skills were still limited. Because she constantly had to move from one country to the other, her education was also limited to just the basic skills and education that she received in Israel and one year in Mexico.
Due to all her experiences, her psychological damage became profound and unfortunately, she got involved with men that perpetuated her with physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse; a very typical behavior in a person who was raised believing that she wasn’t good enough and unworthy of the best of life.
She met a man with whom she married and had another son. For seven years she submitted herself to an unhappy life because she wanted her children to grow up safe and with hopes of a better future. After a year of continuous abuse from her husband, she finally found the courage to leave him and for few years she did not get involved in any more relationships.
Eventually she thought that she was ready for love. She met a man and married a second time. She trusted him because he professed himself to the Christian faith and she imaged that he would be not only a good husband but also a loving stepfather for her children. The relationship quickly deteriorated and the true personality of her new husband emerged and for a year and a half she had to endure the greatest physical, emotional, and sexual abuse of all her life. After a year and a half she finally gave up and despite having two children that she loved with all her heart, she decided it was best to end her life and suffering. This time she planned it very carefully because she didn’t want to fail. One night prior to committing suicide, her son told her that it would be very hard and next to impossible to live without her, like if he knew that she was planning to commit something threatening on herself.
She realized that she was so important to her kids that decided to go directly to the hospital psychiatric department where she immediately received medical treatment and counseling.
Her last husband had totally intimidated her and he always made threats of calling immigration services if she didn’t comply with his domestic demands constantly reminding her that her children would be taken away and that she would never ever be able to see them again. She was subjected to the cruelest sufferings of all kind including sexual torture.
Finally, she was helped by organizations that protect women and little by little, with therapy she recovered her dreams and passions in life, specifically to be a good mother.
HER PATH TO RECOVERY
With the help of a psychiatrist she started taking therapy and medications to stabilize her mood. She also held on to God believing that he was the only one that could help her to overcome the darkest night of her soul. She attended some workshops learning how to forgive herself. Her instructor mentioned that women in her situation blame themselves and learning how to let go guilt was an essential element on her path to recovery.
She remembers that looking herself in the mirror was very difficult. She wasn’t able to see a noble and good woman because she couldn’t understand why she allowed so much pain and suffering in her past relationships.
At the same time of receiving medical treatment she was enrolled in job training learning how to become financially independent. She also saw the connection between her state of mind and been overweight and with the help of a doctor lost 120 pounds. Little by little she started to feel happier and attended more classes and workshops. She understood the body, mind and spirit connection. She applied the principles of holistic healing and became a better person.
Her children were the engine that pushed her to overcome any obstacles. They were the reason of her existence and she worked hard to provide them a healthy environment.
HER MISSION
After 14 years of self analysis and soul searching she concluded that her past experiences could help other women involved in domestic violence and decided to share her knowledge creating a nonprofit organization. The Britel Center was born out of the necessity to reach not only women suffering domestic violence but any member of the community who is in need of learning new skills to help themselves and become leaders in the community. We are not separate individuals, she believes, we are a whole, a group of souls connected in a deeper level and helping each other should be our natural way of life.
Jacky feels now like a new woman, gone is the past and she sees the future with optimism. She is aware that only somebody experiencing pain and suffering and overcoming these difficulties is in the right position to give advice to others in the same quandary. Like a rough diamond that had been polished, she now shines bright as a beacon for others that want to overcome their hardships and she willingly has become the light that others need.
Karen Lazo
Karen Lazo was born in Mexico City on January 28th, 1997. At 22 years old, she was the first in her family to graduate from a four year university, on a full ride scholarship. Despite the obstacles of being undocumented and navigating through college as a first generation student, as a dreamer, Karen obtained a double major in Politics and Legal Studies.
Throughout her time in high school and UC Santa Cruz, her passion for helping marginalized communities grew. In high school and college, she spent her free time volunteering at multiple immigration law firms. At Immigrations Solutions San Diego, a San Diego based law firm, she was able to obtain hands-on experience on immigration petitions surrounding undocumented women experiencing violence in the United States. These experiences motivated her to obtain a Mental Health for Adults certification, which allowed her to become the first line of defense when an individual is undergoing a mental health crisis.
Moreover, upon graduating from UC Santa Cruz in 2019, Karen Lazo entered the workforce as a Human Resource Specialist. She assisted in the compliance and regulation of labor unions throughout the U.S. She continues to find passion in the Human Resource/ Legal field and hopes to use the knowledge that she has gained to empower women.
Outside of her passion for helping others, Karen leisure time activities include, but are not limited to: working out and conducting research on topics which she finds interesting. She enjoys reading historical books, as well as, reading peer reviewed articles. Lastly, she spends her free time as a mentor for first-generation college students. Additionally, is a mentor for parents who did not attend college but want to be supportive of their future college bound child.
Karen brings her experience to Britel Center to create, implement and promote different programs including the prevention of domestic violence in Southern California. We are confident that her talent and skills will make a big difference in the development of the center and hopefully reach every community in need. We are very happy to have Karen in our board of directors.
BRITEL CENTER 